Thanksgiving and a Birthday (shout Hor-RAY!)

I'm 30!  I don't feel 30, pretty sure the numbers are off somewhere, but I'll accept it.  For I'm told it's a major stepping stone into the decade of discovery.  We shall see.

Thanksgiving- the art of giving thanks or the attitude of giving thanks?  or both?

My life has more than a few things to be thankful for.  I am truly blessed.  In short, my life has nothing but the good stuff.

How do I keep all that I have in perspective when I think I've "had a bad day"?  Are bad days relative? My hypothesis is yes.  My challenge is to get over it and make the most of all I've been given.  I want to do something big.  REALLY BIG.  Not for the sake of saying I did something big, but for the sake of making a lasting impact on the world.  I thought that would be found in having children and raising them well.  Well perhaps, they will raise me to a better me, which in turn helps them in their journey.

We have not been blessed with children just yet.  I know it will come on the Lord's schedule.  He, after all is my creator, he knows what I cannot comprehend.  He knows what I need, when I need it and how.  He wants me to live the best I can and challenge myself in ways I have yet to do.  I have this inkling feeling there's going to be something big (maybe not to you or others, but for me, big) that will be life changing.

The unreasonable, over analytical side of my brain takes over constantly and I imagine my horrid recurring dream of brain cancer coming to fruition.

My heart tells me otherwise.  My heart whispers it will be subtle.  It will be real.  It will be life changing.

I feel rather in limbo.  I'm fighting to do things that make a difference.  I feel a little....lost.  Not in the sense of 'Woe is me, I'm so lost and trying to find me', but in the sense of I feel there is something to be done and I need to figure out what it is and DO IT!

My mind turns to run, run, run.  My heart tells me to stop and listen.  Not with my mind or ears, but with my heart.

So I'm listening.  I'm seeking.  I'm searching.  In the meantime, I'll make a better effort to do the things I know will bring me peace and make my heart soar.  It's a new year after all!

Hello 30, you seem to be fun.  I think I'll keep you for a while.  Thanks for coming....or rather, thanks for giving.

The Great Debate

Well, I don't know quite where to start....apologize for the delay?  Just plunk down all my current thoughts and feelings? 

Is it even normal to put all these thoughts and feelings onto an online board for friends, family and outright strangers to peruse?  Does anyone care?  Do I really care?  Am I so censored it doesn't really count as keeping a journal?

I'm uncertain where my heart lies on this matter. 

I've been listening to XM radio for the past few months.  Juan got a super good promo. code ( 6 months for $20 bucks is insanely good) and boy howdy, that's how they hook you!  Ummmm, take away my 80's on 8?  I don't think so.  Yes, of course $18 per month is totally worth it once our subscription ends in a month or so. Mom, Dad, cover your ears.  Yes, yes, of course it is. 

Can I just say, music from the 80's and early 90's is refreshing.  Don't get me wrong, there are great songs and artists out there today.  There are!  Did the 80's and 90's have their fair share of HORRIBLE music? Why yes they did. 

I guess what I am trying to say here is: THANK YOU SIRIUS XM RADIO!  For taking the time to compile all the BEST hits of the 80's and early 90's, completely winning me over and making my twitter-pated, missing my karaoke heart sing your praises!  Well, yes, $18 a month IS worth it! 

Don't you dare even MOUTH the name Dave Ramsey.

On a side note confession:  I spent a very unwise amount of money on ribbon.  RIBBON!!  It's so pretty.  And silky.  And pretty.  And polka dotted.  Little baby polka dotted AND big polka dotted.  And some grosgrain too (for good measure, you know).  Dave Ramsey, eat your heart out.  Or cover it in ribbon, I have a lovely selection if you'd like to play dress up.  Just don't lecture me...I'm aware I'm a person with SEVERE issues when it comes to ribbon.

Speaking of missing the 80's:





Toodles,

Kourt