Friday, October 18, 2013

Living a little like "Benjamin Button"

I'm going back in time.  To age 28, when I'm fairly positive I had a wee bit o' depression and other anxiety issues.  I felt fat, ugly and unaccomplished.  FELT it, not knew it. I KNEW better.  Honestly thought the world viewed me the same. 


Self, you need to realize, it's gotta be bad...really bad, before the world even notices.  Go out one day without makeup, wear jeans and t-shirt, don't do your hair.  No one will even look twice.  Tomorrow, roll out of bed, go out, you MIGHT get a few looks. Maybe.

So why in the world do we (and by 'we' I mean me, but less accusatory to say we-apologies to the human race ahead of time) worry so much about the outside world?  When goodness knows the best advice we've been given is to "be in the world, not of the world".

So guess what happened after I bore my soul, talking about how much I hate fat rolls and how being fat is making me depressed and making me feel gross?  Well, I gained more weight.  And dear heavens, I'm about to turn 31 in November. 

Guess the last 3 years have been good cause I'm not depressed.  I'm happy with who I am and where I am.  I also figured something out.  I DO want to lose the weight, but not for the world, not even for myself.  More so to be in tune with all my body can accomplish when I'm healthy.  I want to be "in shape".  If that means I lose 50 pounds, great!  If I only lose 10 and I'm healthy, I'm happy!  I want to be healthy and allow myself every opportunity to do the things I feel I should be able to.

So with that attitude, I began a new lifestyle.  Most call it a diet....and while it is, in essence, a diet to the outside world looking in, I'm calling it my new lifestyle.  It sounds less temporary, more enduring and better for me in mind and body.  Saying "I don't", rather than "I can't".   I got that gem of wisdom from my lil sister, Lindy.  The power of don't vs can't is liberating.  "Don't" sets my parameters and allows my body the freedom to excel.  "Can't" makes me feel like I'm missing out on something great and makes me yearn for it.

And as my health coach tells me, "You CAN have anything you want.  Just ask yourself, will this help me get to where I want to be?"  How's that for a great motivator?  The first few weeks of the new lifestyle, I narrow mindedly applied this thought and question only to food.  (Thunk-thunk, that would be the sound of a few good sized knocks on the side of my head.) It applies to anything you can think of!  Choices have consequences, of course we all know this.  I think the real goal is to be ever more conscious of your choices to yield good/great consequences, right?

I'm trying my hardest to feed my mind first and develop healthy habits and hoping my body follows. 

And I'm happy to report, my body IS following.  I'll turn 31 this November and as of now, I weigh one less pound than I did at 28.  And I've got 5 weeks to go til the big birthday! 

Bringing me to the conclusion of the last 3 years. The healthier the mind & soul, the healthier the body.  When your mind is healthy, healthy choices become second nature.   It really is mind over matter.

And on the days I'm craving something defined by the health-minded individual to be "sludge" or worse, I read Section 89 of the Doctrine and Covenants.

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

From where I stand...

I forgot.  Yes, I'm human, we all are, and we tend to be forgetful creatures.  Even more so when we feel life is "just going".  I'm just working.  Juan is just working and going to school.  We're just doing the same old things we've done for the past...geez, let's not put a number to that thought.  

Then a little light (epiphany) finds it's way in.  It's awesome to "just" do anything in this world.  

We've been looking into solar blocking screens for our back windows.  The ferocious sun blazes in, our a/c unit works overtime to keep the house sated and we cringe a little more each month the utility bill comes in. 
So we invested in the solar screens.  Welcome to Vampire City, we'll be your hosts for the summer.  It's DARK in the back half of our home now.  I could host a Gothic dance off.  I can extend an invitation to the Cullens for a bread and breakfast (please, not the dog) weekend.
Which has led me to spend more time in the front of the house, seeking the light to get a good picture of my latest project.  Which brings me to the title of this post.  'From where I stand' is subjective, relative, rarely objective.  'From where I stand', such a common phrase, I think we forget to move around, enjoy the full spectrum of what the world has to offer, and be HAPPY with doing the "just" things in life.  Life is grand, life is great, life is hard, life is challenging, life is wonderful.  Life is what we choose to make it. 
And while I'm standing in the light flooding in through the front door, I'll leave you with a picture of my new plant stand.  Thank you Hobby Lobby clearance section.  A plant stand for $17!!  In coral-ly orange, why yes, I do believe I will take you home with me.  Enjoy the light!

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Boat Party!

View of the lobby from our deck (deck 11)

It was raining in Galveston, things were looking dreary

The back of the boat, right when the horn sounded!

Front hot tobs and pool.  Pool was saltwater, which was nice.

Our milk bath was drawn before our WONDERFUL couple's hot stone massage.  Worth every last brass farthing!!
Massage with a view....although we just slept through ours!


Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Who needs to leave on a jet plane???

When you can leave on a cruise ship!! 

Cruising is the way to vacation.  It's the best of so many worlds, great food already paid for, beautiful ports of call to spend some time on land, cruise ship fun like comedians, ropes' courses and variety shows.

Maybe some have guessed by now, but just in case it needs to be said, we went on a cruise!  It was our late honeymoon/Juan's birthday/Kourtney's birthday/Christmas/5 year anniversary celebration.  You name a holiday, that was how we celebrated it in 2012 . I never said they were cheap, mind you, but awesome is VERY descriptive.

Ports of call were: Mahoghany Bay (Roatan) Honduras,  Belize City and Cozumel Mexico.  All beautiful places and we could not have more fun than we did.

Some things to remember for next cruise (this list is for myself mostly, but if I've somehow convinced you to cruise, feel free to take notes):

-Passports- they tell you as long as you have your "cruise card" you're okay. However, if you are going off the beaten path, for heaven's sake, bring your passport. Stranded in Honduras withnothing but a "cruise card"? Something tells me the $50 bucks you brought with you is going to get you nothing but robbed and stranded in Honduras. And while beautiful, working for $1.80 an hour doesn't sound quite so, oh I don't know, fun?

-Bring $1 bills- lots of them.   I'm talking enough to make a "self clothing removal specialist" blush. Tipping is something you don't really think about on an all inclusive vacation. How would you like to help someone have the time of their life (making $1.80 an hour) and just get a thank you? Yeah, so tip 'em! They are very good at what they do, really, it's worth it.

-Don't be timid- We sat around on the ship when we first boarded waiting for our room to be available. We were hungry, really hungry (we left super early in the morning- long story). For some odd reason, we didn't think to go get food. We sat in the lobby for a while, walked out to the back of the ship, sat around and then went to our room when they told us it would be ready. The food is it!! We realized as we went to dinner how very cruise-virgin our mistake was. If you are hungry, go find food, it's EVERYWHERE on the ship, and most of it is free.

- CHECK IN, CHECK IN, CHECK IN- online and way ahead of time. Don't put it off. You wait til 24 hours before your cruise and you're not checking in online. They'll tell you it's now necessary to get to the ship 90 minutes PRIOR to normal check in time. While I'm not certain this is actually necessary, we did.  And we didn't have luggage tags and the guy taking our luggage said, "what room?"
                       I said, "11203"
                       He said, "Eleven-twenty-oh three"
                       I say, "No, Eleven-two-oh three.  1, 1, 2, 0, 3" (really didn't want our bags to end up     
                        He said "Yeah, that's what I said, Eleven-twenty-oh three"
                        I have quite the look on my face by now, "No, what you are saying is 11-20-03 and
                                     it's 11-2-03."
                        He says, "I don't understand, will you write it down?"
                         I say, "Oh yes, GLADLY!!"
           Online check-in, above conversation obliterated.

- Get a waterproof camera
           Cave tubing in Belize=AWESOME.  Paying $20 for 2 pictures because you are too afraid to
           get your nice camera wet or submerged= sad day.  Said 2 pictures less than desirable= lesson
           learned.  You NEED a waterproof camera.  We'll be investing in the Hero next time a cruise
           opportunity rolls around.

-TAN before hand- even if it's tan in a can

And here's some pics:
It was sprinkling and cloudy as we left Galveston


A little ways out, the weather cleared right up!

Our room and view


Honduras Party Time:

I don't think our captain was more than 22, what a life!
Then we went snorkeling!  It was really fun once you got the hang of the ocean and fighting the choppy water.  Too bad we didn't get a waterproof camera, we saw a few really cool fish in the sea.

Okay, that's all for now.  These pics are taking FOR-EV-ER to load.  More to come!

Thursday, November 22, 2012

Thanksgiving and a Birthday (shout Hor-RAY!)

I'm 30!  I don't feel 30, pretty sure the numbers are off somewhere, but I'll accept it.  For I'm told it's a major stepping stone into the decade of discovery.  We shall see.

Thanksgiving- the art of giving thanks or the attitude of giving thanks?  or both?

My life has more than a few things to be thankful for.  I am truly blessed.  In short, my life has nothing but the good stuff.

How do I keep all that I have in perspective when I think I've "had a bad day"?  Are bad days relative? My hypothesis is yes.  My challenge is to get over it and make the most of all I've been given.  I want to do something big.  REALLY BIG.  Not for the sake of saying I did something big, but for the sake of making a lasting impact on the world.  I thought that would be found in having children and raising them well.  Well perhaps, they will raise me to a better me, which in turn helps them in their journey.

We have not been blessed with children just yet.  I know it will come on the Lord's schedule.  He, after all is my creator, he knows what I cannot comprehend.  He knows what I need, when I need it and how.  He wants me to live the best I can and challenge myself in ways I have yet to do.  I have this inkling feeling there's going to be something big (maybe not to you or others, but for me, big) that will be life changing.

The unreasonable, over analytical side of my brain takes over constantly and I imagine my horrid recurring dream of brain cancer coming to fruition.

My heart tells me otherwise.  My heart whispers it will be subtle.  It will be real.  It will be life changing.

I feel rather in limbo.  I'm fighting to do things that make a difference.  I feel a little....lost.  Not in the sense of 'Woe is me, I'm so lost and trying to find me', but in the sense of I feel there is something to be done and I need to figure out what it is and DO IT!

My mind turns to run, run, run.  My heart tells me to stop and listen.  Not with my mind or ears, but with my heart.

So I'm listening.  I'm seeking.  I'm searching.  In the meantime, I'll make a better effort to do the things I know will bring me peace and make my heart soar.  It's a new year after all!

Hello 30, you seem to be fun.  I think I'll keep you for a while.  Thanks for coming....or rather, thanks for giving.

Monday, October 22, 2012

The Great Debate

Well, I don't know quite where to start....apologize for the delay?  Just plunk down all my current thoughts and feelings? 

Is it even normal to put all these thoughts and feelings onto an online board for friends, family and outright strangers to peruse?  Does anyone care?  Do I really care?  Am I so censored it doesn't really count as keeping a journal?

I'm uncertain where my heart lies on this matter. 

I've been listening to XM radio for the past few months.  Juan got a super good promo. code ( 6 months for $20 bucks is insanely good) and boy howdy, that's how they hook you!  Ummmm, take away my 80's on 8?  I don't think so.  Yes, of course $18 per month is totally worth it once our subscription ends in a month or so. Mom, Dad, cover your ears.  Yes, yes, of course it is. 

Can I just say, music from the 80's and early 90's is refreshing.  Don't get me wrong, there are great songs and artists out there today.  There are!  Did the 80's and 90's have their fair share of HORRIBLE music? Why yes they did. 

I guess what I am trying to say here is: THANK YOU SIRIUS XM RADIO!  For taking the time to compile all the BEST hits of the 80's and early 90's, completely winning me over and making my twitter-pated, missing my karaoke heart sing your praises!  Well, yes, $18 a month IS worth it! 

Don't you dare even MOUTH the name Dave Ramsey.

On a side note confession:  I spent a very unwise amount of money on ribbon.  RIBBON!!  It's so pretty.  And silky.  And pretty.  And polka dotted.  Little baby polka dotted AND big polka dotted.  And some grosgrain too (for good measure, you know).  Dave Ramsey, eat your heart out.  Or cover it in ribbon, I have a lovely selection if you'd like to play dress up.  Just don't lecture me...I'm aware I'm a person with SEVERE issues when it comes to ribbon.

Speaking of missing the 80's: