Friday, October 18, 2013

Living a little like "Benjamin Button"

I'm going back in time.  To age 28, when I'm fairly positive I had a wee bit o' depression and other anxiety issues.  I felt fat, ugly and unaccomplished.  FELT it, not knew it. I KNEW better.  Honestly thought the world viewed me the same. 


Self, you need to realize, it's gotta be bad...really bad, before the world even notices.  Go out one day without makeup, wear jeans and t-shirt, don't do your hair.  No one will even look twice.  Tomorrow, roll out of bed, go out, you MIGHT get a few looks. Maybe.

So why in the world do we (and by 'we' I mean me, but less accusatory to say we-apologies to the human race ahead of time) worry so much about the outside world?  When goodness knows the best advice we've been given is to "be in the world, not of the world".

So guess what happened after I bore my soul, talking about how much I hate fat rolls and how being fat is making me depressed and making me feel gross?  Well, I gained more weight.  And dear heavens, I'm about to turn 31 in November. 

Guess the last 3 years have been good cause I'm not depressed.  I'm happy with who I am and where I am.  I also figured something out.  I DO want to lose the weight, but not for the world, not even for myself.  More so to be in tune with all my body can accomplish when I'm healthy.  I want to be "in shape".  If that means I lose 50 pounds, great!  If I only lose 10 and I'm healthy, I'm happy!  I want to be healthy and allow myself every opportunity to do the things I feel I should be able to.

So with that attitude, I began a new lifestyle.  Most call it a diet....and while it is, in essence, a diet to the outside world looking in, I'm calling it my new lifestyle.  It sounds less temporary, more enduring and better for me in mind and body.  Saying "I don't", rather than "I can't".   I got that gem of wisdom from my lil sister, Lindy.  The power of don't vs can't is liberating.  "Don't" sets my parameters and allows my body the freedom to excel.  "Can't" makes me feel like I'm missing out on something great and makes me yearn for it.

And as my health coach tells me, "You CAN have anything you want.  Just ask yourself, will this help me get to where I want to be?"  How's that for a great motivator?  The first few weeks of the new lifestyle, I narrow mindedly applied this thought and question only to food.  (Thunk-thunk, that would be the sound of a few good sized knocks on the side of my head.) It applies to anything you can think of!  Choices have consequences, of course we all know this.  I think the real goal is to be ever more conscious of your choices to yield good/great consequences, right?

I'm trying my hardest to feed my mind first and develop healthy habits and hoping my body follows. 

And I'm happy to report, my body IS following.  I'll turn 31 this November and as of now, I weigh one less pound than I did at 28.  And I've got 5 weeks to go til the big birthday! 

Bringing me to the conclusion of the last 3 years. The healthier the mind & soul, the healthier the body.  When your mind is healthy, healthy choices become second nature.   It really is mind over matter.

And on the days I'm craving something defined by the health-minded individual to be "sludge" or worse, I read Section 89 of the Doctrine and Covenants.

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