Why oh why does it take a person with my vast intellect, casual good looks and amazing personality to figure out the small things can cost more than you ever imagined (read groceries, clothes, presents for showers/weddings/birthdays, dentist visits) and the big, important things in life are monetarily free? I specify monetarily due to the alarming fact dear husbands can take all your energy, patience and long suffering out of you in one bright millisecond moment.
Ever see those kids fighting, screaming, wildly whining, yelling, hysterically thumping their legs and arms on the floor and go, hmmm...note to self, never do THAT in public. My mom will attest we (being the 5 kids in our family crew) were aware at a very early age just how awful THAT looked and tried our hardest not to display such behaviors in public areas. Alas, the lesson must at times vigorously renew it's presence in my mind and manners.
I don't know why I like (note here the specific use of the word like) to tirade about as if only I am queen, and the masses are mere peasants, at times. Not to imply I treat others as being "below" myself, I simply traipse out on a power trail of nonsense and insensibility at times. Juan found himself caught in a tirade a few nights ago and I must confess, brutality and inequality reigned supreme. No fears/worries/general concerns, this is but a public confession to prove my love and severe disappointment with my afore mentioned behavior for my dearest husband.
Feel buttons pushed, implications in sentence fragments, words coming at you in what seems to be ill-humored jabber? I sheepishly admit, I did. The mind can make mountains from molehills, grand canyons from but a small drip of a expired hose, a Sequoia from but a seed planted yesterday.
In short, I was as a ill-mannered child at the toy store, holding a toy in each hand, demanding more, falling quickly to the floor to exercise my right to whine/moan/complain and display the unsavory contempt for any being in my way not willing to immediately yield to my desires, wishes and demands.
The question Juan asked, "So, have you heard anything back on whether you have the new job?".
Yeah, I know. What IS your deal Kourtney? Well, let's just say, I took it to mean, "Why don't you have a new job yet, Kourtney?", and was WAY off base.
Sure, no one directly SAW this behavior but my dear husband and a few cursedly happy devils from below. However, when you behave in a way directly affecting those you care for and deeply love, it feels as though the world should know and hear your confession and apology. "Shouted from the rooftops" comes to mind.
In closing, I profusely apologize to my dear husband for my derelict behavior and beg once again his forgiveness (which he calmly assures me is not necessary, I have done nothing too bad, and then laughingly adds, yet). Oh my, and to think love doesn't cost even a mere toppin. ;)
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