One month down...

And plenty to go.

Scale says: Hmmmm, I haven't checked lately. I've been busy making stuff :)
Motivation: 9 out out of 10 (I've pre-decided- more like pre-meditated, if I HAPPEN across a peice of fudge, I will not tell it no. But I won't make it, so that ought to help.)
Happiness: 11 out of 10 ( I told you, I've been making stuff, I can't possibly get any happier!)

My pants fit about the same, but I am going to do a boot camp starting the first week of January....YAY!!!! I like it when people yell at me to keep going, strange, I know. Very, very, very strange. But it makes me feel like I have no other alternative, and well, I'm a shallow people pleaser. Pros and cons, we'll focus on that some other time.

Christmas time is fast becoming a crazy time of year for us. I got all worked up and excited to do some Christmas crafting and then I got sick. Which worked out great! I needed to stay home, so I rested and crafted. Poor Juan, he felt like a caged bird probably. And this caged bird, she was happy as a lark. Besides the hacking cough in her songer.

Head over to Pile 'o Craft to check out some of the fun.

I'm a craft nerd, and I like it!

Day 15

Hard to believe it's only been about two weeks since I turned 28.

I've felt so good and credit the portion control and Nazi Calorie Regime. Yes, I do mean regime, not regimen. Because ruling the caloric intake is absolutely necessary. Dominating and conquering make the list as well, but we all know a dictatorship is most successful when brought in teensy amounts and a year down the road, naughty calories will look up and wonder where all their control went to. Mwauh-ha-ha-ha.

Scale says: 185.5 (that means only 67 pounds to go by next Christmas)
Motivation level: 10 out of 10
Happiness level: 10 out of 10

I'm dead set on never being that miserable, crazy, raving lunatic I was on my birthday. It was not pretty at all. So I'm moving on and getting on with life :).

Whether I am technically obese or not, I can still be happy. And while this extra weight definitely takes it's toll, it's coming off, slowly and surely and staying off! So maybe be next winter we'll be ready for babies. My body will be healthy and Juan will be 1 year away from the school finish line! WOO HOO!

In more exciting news, we headed down in Honda (nope, still no decision on a name yet) to Katy this past weekend to see Jake bless his little baby girl, Elizabeth. What a blessing it was! He said just the right things, but when he mentioned boys, Lizzie did start to cry a little, guess she's not quite ready for that step yet. What a precious baby she is! Congrats Jake and Hil on a beautiful baby girl, we are so very happy for you.

Not much else to report. I have been avoiding the P90X......as usual. It scares the living daylights out of me! So I do a few sit ups and push ups in the morning and have been eyeing the P90X box suspiciously for the past few days. I know it's not going to kill me, I don't want to fail! But I guess we can't succeed if we don't try, so once again, wish me luck on this P90X endeavor. I've told myself I'll do it tonight if it's the last thing I do....so I probably should keep that promise to myself. I'll let you know how it goes!

Ooooo, and I am going to make some cards this week, so keep an eye out for those on our crafty site: http://www.pileocraft.blogspot.com/

18 days til Christmas! We are going to have our first official Christmas alone this year and while it's kinda sad not to see all your family, it's exciting to make your own traditions too!

In my 6th day of 28

We did something crazy, but necessary. And we even kept our cool about it. We both have urged one another at some
point in time to consider a new ( to us anyway) car. First, I begged Juan and then a year later he was begging me. Three years down the road and we were both ready! We test drove a few, and they were NICE! A little too nice, they were our reality check. No possible way we can afford an Infiniti right now. But we found a good, hardy little Honda and she fits right in with our budget, not to mention, fleet of black vehicles, so she's a keeper! We are trying to get a good name for her.
Hailey
Henrietta
Perdita
Hulu
Ada
Arla
The list goes on and on, suggest a few too and we'll announce her name soon. You know, along with her birth weight and all.

Speaking of birth weight, Jane Madelyn Packard is here!!! She ALMOST made it for my birthday, but not quite. Born November 23, 5:00 pm CST, a healthy 8.8 lbs! Way to go Packards! Can't wait to see that little girl!

Oh, and we got a dining table able to seat 10, Thanksgiving dinner at my house next year!

And in other exciting news:
Happiness level: 10 of 10
Motivation level:10 of 10
Scale says (cursory drumroll here): 186.5
I knew it would work, portion control, I'm putty in your hands, mold me into a slim person by next Christmas please! ;)

So two pounds down, 68 to go! Now, I get to the good stuff on Monday------p90x! Good luck and craziness required all at the same time!

Day 5, 360 blessed days to go....

Turkey Day!! Do you think it was a bad day or a good day?

Come on now, I TOLD you I was super charged and ready to take on the world!
Great day! I got to indulge and have friends and family surrounding me and pumpkin pie.
It's just not Thanksgiving until you get your pumpkin pie! I did really good, still had a little of
everything I wanted, just smaller portions than usual Turkey day.

We headed over to Juan's parents home for an amazing spread and it was great not
to cook myself, we brought drinks and the pumpkin pies:). Hanging out with all the nephews
was really fun and they are so funny all together.

Scale says: 188.5
Feel thinner though, probably has something to do with not pigging out too hard core
Happiness level: 10 of 10
Motivation level: 10 of 10

Today I am thankful for:
Juan
Family
Amazing friends who love me just the way I am
My birthdays, some people are not as fortunate and I will never cry on another birthday
My job
The USA
The Aggies pulling out that win against tu
Phones, my one passport to spending quality time with my family
My Home
Great home cooked food, thanks Maria, Juan and Celeste!
Gospel
My health
My freedoms
My numerous blessings
All the things I can't remember

Happy happy Thanksgiving!

Third day of the 28th year....

Alright, I'm not unhappy, just unsatisfied every time I look in the mirror. I'm not miserable, just posting my inner diaglouge and self-motivation to ensure I stick to doing something about this extra poundage lingering around my hips, thighs and waistline. I think confronting it openly and honestly will help me conquer it and get back in touch with the "healthy" me.

I have so very much I am eternally and unequivocally gratful for.

But releasing those thoughts and sad feelings has me super-charged, ready to take on the world, so I'd have to say, it's worth it!

Stats on my third day of being 28:

Weight: 188.5
Size: 14
Happiness level: 10 out of 10
Motivation level: 10 out of 10

Yes, the scale says I gained a 1/2 a pound....but guess what....I feel better. It's going to be a great year! Thanks for all the support!

What AM I thinking?

I turned 28 years old yesterday. The crying started shortly after midnight. I've never cried on a birthday before, ever.

Suddenly in my head, my "top 5" reasons for being so overwhelmed popped up:

1) I'm old- Okay, I feel old, not technically old
2) I'm fat
3) I'm feeling ugly- keyword "feel"
4) I'm unsuccessful- As far as career stuff goes
5) I'm an emotional basket case

And I'm downright unhappy. I have tons. I want tons. I'm fairly certain this post will earn me points as a bi-polar personality. But I'm drowning here. Drowning in my own self-made misery.

And I think of all the things that are bothering me most on my top 5, it's number 2 causing this little tizzy. I hate fat rolls. HATE fat rolls. I hate cellulite. I hate not being able to breathe in my size 14 pants. Yep, size 14, 188 pounds of pure, unadulterated fat. It's out there now. ALL of it. I'm done. I feel sick when I eat sugared cereal. I feel guilty when I think of greasy, fried food. And yet, I can't stop. I've become an emotional eater. I used to be an emotional workout freak. WHERE has that dear friend gone?

You know what, I don't really care about losing myself to find myself. I don't want to fake like I'm happy. And no, I don't really care about the inner beauty inside because it's being masked by large volumes of fat, fat, fat. I'm simply fat. And it's affecting me more and more everyday. And yet, I do nothing to change? Where is my motivation? What in tarnation will get this fat, huge asteroid of a butt off me? I look in the mirror and the truth has never been so evident. I'm lardy. Lardy! Pictures are taboo. Because I don't want evidence of how huge I am forever documented in living proof. I keep telling myself, I'll change. I'll workout and things will get better. But I don't.

So, today, on my second official day of being 28, I'm taking a stand, albeit a fatty one. I'm getting this stupid 70 lbs off me once and for all and I'm taking prisoners if anyone tells me I'm crazy, or I look beautiful just the way I am. Say nothing if those are the thoughts that come to mind. I need friends who ask me what I've done today to feel better, to lose the weight, to let my inner beauty shine through by working on the outside. Yep, it's shallow. Deal with it.

Goal: Lose 70 lbs by Christmas 2011 (that works out to about 1.2 pounds per week, which is supposedly a healthy weight loss goal)

I'd post a picture of "before", but like I said, taboo.

The "time-out bench"

Nope, no kids to put on the time-out bench. And no, not expecting one or two kiddos just yet.

I've lovingly referred to our bench in the front entry of our home as our-time out bench. While wonderfully crafted, there was not much going on for it, other than being crafted well:

Which is why it makes a fabulous time-out bench. If there's nothing going on, it's not much fun to sit on. Well, now, it's the walk-in-the-door, stop-for-a-moment, rest-your-keister and take- off-your-shoes bench. TAKE OFF YOUR SHOES!! I'm sorry, I'm big on this. Shoes removed give your floor so much more TIME. And saving the floors means I can spend money on other things. Like spray paint for toilet-paper-roll art (idea found here: http://www.designspongeonline.com/2009/11/diy-project-toilet-paper-roll-wall-art.html). And stain for the bench:

I tried to be artistic and capture the high gloss shine of the bench AND my favorite pillow AND the light, but I have no training in these things. And I was using my phone camera. Yeah, real artistic Kourtney. You tried so hard on that one, didn't you?

Well, I tried, what else matters?

All in all, a super duper busy October leads to a time-out bench I can't really call a time-out bench anymore. I mean who WOULDN'T want to sit here?

Hiatus, however...

I'm still getting crafts and cards up on the 'Sisters formerly known as Hansen' craft blog, 'Pile o Craft'. I mean let's face it, does anyone really read the blog unless it's hilariously entertaining or very well written? Pictures are worth so much more.

With no further ado, please check out our latest creations:

http://www.pileocraft.blogspot.com/

I'll post a button or something :). As soon as I remember how.

Feeling Fall and Lovely...

Excuse the tirade from last week. There's no excuse, it was a valid post at the time.

I really do feel lovely and happy and fine now.

So I don't have to post twice:

www.pileocraft.blogspot.com

Raa raa, ooo la la....

Bad romance? Yes. Bad romance with my husband? Nah, that's not it. He actually makes me feel pretty darn good.

"I want, I want, I want...." I've tried taming the beast, but alas, I am human. I want material things. And not trivial, unimportant things. Nooooo, I have to want things like a new dining table, a new car, designer decorated rooms, 'complete' sets of dinnerware and flatware and serving dishes. Why is my natural (wo)man getting to me so exquisitely?

On a lighter note, I feel depressed. Ha, see, now my trivial wants don't seem so trifling, do they?

I'd make a list of things I'm grateful for, but I don't wanna. Nope, today is an air-out-the-dirty-laundry, make-myself-feel-better-by-getting-it-all-off-my-chest day. Am I even allowed to put this into my journal? Yeah, that's right, I'm lazy and use my unattended blog as a journal. Shut your mouth.

Okay, I don't have any right to feel depressed. I don't have any right to feel unblessed, cause I'm not. I don't want to bloom where I'm planted today. I don't want to pretend everything is perfect and lovely. I'm not going to fake it til I make it today. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe never.

Instead, I'm going to be onery, uptight, and pitiful, woe is me. WOE IS ME!


Dripping with sarcasm today, my dear? No, never. Not me. I'm done.

I'm so happy and lovely and great!

Not much to report.....but then again....

No, no babies yet. But masses of exciting new "stuff". Call it getting ready for the eventual baby. Cause who wants their baby to see their home in shambles? Yeah, that should cover it.

Our lawn is getting green and pretty, mowed and trimmed every 2 weeks. Weeds, I depise thee. I've pulled, I've sprayed, I've treated, they come back. Revenge of the Weeds, part 143 playing at our house this weekend. I'd be happy to talk to the director about getting you a starring role as head weed demolisher. Let me know, I hear there's a free dinner if you're interested. Here's a pic of work to date:

What's next? The Office CHAIR!!! We scoured, web browsed, online shopped, visited every office furniture/home decor store within 100 miles and we compromised. Juan wanted a "ugly" (the opinions of Kourtney will be placed in quotation marks to ensure the reader understands Kourtney's opinions are not law, simply opinion, however right they may be) but highly comfortable chair from Crate and Barrel (http://www.crateandbarrel.com/family.aspx?c=1080&f=29359). Kourtney desired a more "chic" look (http://www.potterybarn.com/products/louis-chair/?pkey=call-chairs-barstools) or (http://www.pier1.com/Catalog/Furniture/Furniture/tabid/519/CategoryID/155/List/0/catpagesize/0/Level/a/ProductID/5322/ProductName/Red-Velvet-Dining-Chair/Default.aspx) or (http://www.pier1.com/Catalog/Furniture/Furniture/tabid/519/CategoryID/155/List/0/catpagesize/0/Level/a/ProductID/3314/ProductName/Olive-Dining-Chair-/Default.aspx).

Juan insisted on arm rests for the classic man slouch. Kourtney turned up her nose. The Pier 1 sales associate probably rolled his eyes behind their backs. What a guy, he pulled at least 6 chairs down for this ridiculously hard to please couple.....ahhh compromise, you ugly thief of reason and decision. Then this beauty. Never seen by either online, in store nor mentioned by friends. Comfortable WITH arm rests for him and classic beauty for her. And of course, the couple lived happily ever after.

Shortly after, Kourtney got to hankering after her dream of "all white bedding". She searched the best deals, drew schematics with any spare time, made checklists of all the necessities an "all white bed" would require. Layers needed the right amount of texture, the right color palatte (any idea how hard it is to match white and cream?) and the pleasing feel of light and fluffy (but not too fluffy). Sigh......it wasn't quite right:

Beside the obvious need of more decor items in their bedroom, Kourtney didn't feel quite right about the ensemble. She thought long and hard, texted pictures to friends and family for input and decided another euro pillow was key. She excitedly took her lunch hour walking to Target, only to find the color of the week was no longer golden cream, instead the same patterned euro pillow was red and burnt orange. Hanging of head, near defeat, epiphany! Why not add a little color? It's her favorite color afterall. Quickly she is excited again.....and it means a possible second pillow and throw. She buys a second pillow and decides on just the right throw from Pottery Barn will wait a few more weeks:
There will be a headboard and decor items eventually, it's a work in progress. Pure excitement! That's how my last few months have been spent. I did take on a second job to offset the dream purchases, that's a whole other post. For now, I'll let you imagine what it could be. Off my loves, to dream of greener lawns, weed free marvels and new home decor, and the future babies every now and again!

Well poop....

It's been forever and after MUCH debate and inner struggle, I've decided to post pictures of the new home on the blog. Please do not steal anything from our house. I've promised Juan I'd put that disclaimer in. Oh, and if you're hoping to know our address, you must call me and get it....I simply have to refuse to tell you where it is located online in order to help prevent with the theft issue. Not that I don't trust my friends.....it's the other people.....you know who you are.....stop trying rabidly to exit off my blog now.

Very rough schematic, I'm sure you can't see.....

The front entrance of our little abode:

What you see as the door opens:

To the left, you get a glimpse of the kitchen:

To the right, you've got an alcove for decorating:

Home Office, it needs tons more TLC.....but the money well, alas, it's DRY as a bone:

Panoramic view, really don't see much cause the pic is blurry:

Guest bedroom (the mirror reflects light so well, you can see it on the adjoing wall:

Guest bathroom, I got to pick my mirror. I had it customed framed, along with two others for the master bath at Hobby Lobby. Love that store...so much! All white with some navy blue towels for pizzaz. Okay, honest now, I got this "go to Hades" look from Juan when I mentioned I was buying ALL white towels for the guest bathroom. Why ever so? Because those blue towels cost a pretty penny and are all younger than 3 months old. So, pizzaz:

Living Room: Target had this crazy beautiful rug for just under $400.....tell me I got a steal! Too good!

Dining room nook. Do you see the plant with the almost blooming lily? That was part of my Vday gift. Juan picked it out personally. You know you're getting old when you want "live plants" for Vday.

More of the kitchen. Yes, it really does go on forever and ever.....really:

THE bedroom:

The master bathroom, glimpse of closet, and my 2nd most loved item in the home (the jacuzzi tub!!):These are a few of my favorite things, but the one thing that makes me soar above the clouds? Why my pull drawer that fits my stockpots, lids ON, beneath the oven. Happy contented sigh here. Oh, I told you I'd get you my pretty......Thanks for watching, reading, and of course all the love and support that made getting our dream first home a reality!

Now get back to work.